What Would Your Eulogy Say If It Could Only Mention Your Betting?

[SharpEddie47]

Morbid question but it hit me recently: if your eulogy could ONLY mention your betting life - nothing else - what would it say?

Not just "he was profitable" or "he lost money." I mean the REAL story.

Mine might be: "He made $67,000 over 20 years of betting. He also missed his nephew's high school graduation because it conflicted with NFL Sunday. He tracked every bet in spreadsheets but couldn't remember the last meaningful conversation he had that wasn't about sports. He was right 56% of the time but wrong about what mattered."

Dark thought. But what would yours actually say?

 

[CoachTony_Bets]

Jesus Eddie that's heavy.

But honest.

Mine: "He taught young men about discipline and effort while betting on games they played in. He preached balance to his players while spending 15 hours a week analyzing spreads. He was profitable enough to justify it but not profitable enough for it to matter. His wife knew he bet but never knew how much."

 

[ThePuntingProf]

This is quite a sobering question, my betting eulogy would read: "He spent thirty years applying mathematical models to predict football outcomes, he was profitable by approximately one hundred twenty-seven thousand pounds lifetime, he shared this pursuit with his wife Margaret for twenty-five years and it brought them joy and intellectual partnership, after her death he continued betting but the meaning had gone, the final ten years were profitable but hollow, he bet because he did not know what else to do with his evenings, he died alone in the same study where he had placed thousands of bets, the last thing on his computer screen was a spreadsheet tracking Arsenal matches, he would have preferred it to be a photo of Margaret."

 

[TaffyTipster]

F**k me Prof.

That's heartbreaking mate.

 

[ParlayPrincess_88]

Prof I'm crying

That's so sad!

 

[CoachTony_Bets]

Prof that last line destroyed me.

"He would have preferred it to be a photo of Margaret."

 

[SharpEddie47]

Prof I wasn't ready for that level of honesty.

That's... god that's sad.

 

[Klaus]

Prof's eulogy notable for honesty regarding meaning versus profit.

Financial success insufficient for life satisfaction.

My own eulogy: "He optimized. He systematized. He profited forty-seven thousand euros over fourteen years. He attended fewer than half of his children's school events. He declined social invitations to analyze Bundesliga matches. He was correct about odds calculations but incorrect about priority calculations. His children knew him as the man in the home office, not as their father. He died having maximized ROI but minimized relationships. The optimization was successful. The life was not."

 

[TaffyTipster]

Klaus mate.

"The optimization was successful. The life was not."

F**king hell.

 

[FadeThePublic]

This thread got dark fast.

Mine: "He was contrarian in betting and in life. He faded the public on spreads and faded his family on holidays. He made modest profit betting sports and massive losses in relationships. He was right about the Browns being overvalued and wrong about thinking everyone would always be there when he was ready to pay attention. His last words were checking the closing line."

 

[CoachTony_Bets]

Fade that's brutal.

"Wrong about thinking everyone would always be there."

 

[ParlayPrincess_88]

You guys are making me really sad!

And scared!

Mine would be: "She bet on parlays because she loved the excitement and the big potential payoffs. She lost $1,847 but hadn't yet lost anything that mattered. She posted her wins on Instagram and made her friends smile. She was young enough that her betting eulogy was still being written. The story could still change. She had time to make it better."

 

[SharpEddie47]

Princess that's actually hopeful.

You're young enough your betting hasn't defined your life yet.

 

[CoachTony_Bets]

Princess yours is different because you still have time to change the ending.

The rest of us are further in.

 

[TaffyTipster]

Alright here's mine:

"He made six thousand pounds betting rugby over twelve years. He spent four thousand pounds on drinks at the pub while making those bets. He missed his son's football matches on Saturdays to watch Wales play. His wife Bronwyn loved him despite it. He died with mates who knew his rugby opinions better than they knew his fears or dreams. The last thing he said was 'Wales by twelve.' Wales lost by twenty. Fitting."

 

[ParlayPrincess_88]

Taffy The Wales losing at the end is sad but kind of perfect?

 

[SharpEddie47]

Taffy "mates who knew his rugby opinions better than they knew his fears or dreams."

That's the line that hits.

 

[FadeThePublic]

We all traded depth for surface.

Deep betting knowledge, surface relationships.

 

[DublinDegen]

mine would be brutal... "He lost fifteen thousand euros and seven years. He lost his girlfriend Emma because she couldnt watch him destroy himself anymore. He lost his parents trust when they found out. He lost his friends because betting was all he talked about. He lost sleep checking scores at 4am. He lost himself somewhere between the first bet and the thousandth. He died never having won anything that mattered. The last thing he checked was an in-play bet on a sport he didnt even like. It lost."

 

[CoachTony_Bets]

Conor.

Man.

That's devastating.