What Do You Actually Talk About With Other Bettors In Real Life?

[TaffyTipster]

Klaus mate.

Bronwyn's tried the same with me.

Same redirect. Different numbers.

 

[KaliHunter]

I think that’s pretty normal. With friends in real life the conversation usually stays about odds, line movement, wins or bad beats. The deeper topics rarely come up.

Forums make it easier to be open because of the anonymity.

By the way, I saw the Big Adventures tournament is wrapping up. The final prize draw will be live on stream and the winner is randomly picked from the Top 100. Prize is a Maldives trip.

I didn’t make the Top 100 but I might watch the stream anyway.

 

[FadeThePublic]

The spreadsheet as deflection.

I do a version of this too.

Someone tries to get real and I turn it into an intellectual discussion about variance and methodology.

Much easier than the actual conversation.

 

[ThePuntingProf]

The question of what we talk about with real life bettors assumes we have them, I have had very few real life betting friends over thirty years, in the early years Margaret and I talked about betting with another couple who bet seriously, those conversations were largely what Tony describes, performance and tips and near misses dressed as entertainment, after Margaret died I lost that social context entirely and have had no real life betting companions since, the forum is genuinely my only community of this kind, what I notice is that the absence of real life stakes in these conversations, the social consequences, the relationship maintenance, the performance requirements, is precisely what enables honesty here, none of you can think less of me in a way that affects my daily life, that freedom is either the forum's greatest gift or a sign of how isolated betting has made me, possibly both.

 

[ParlayPrincess_88]

Prof

"That freedom is either the forum's greatest gift or a sign of how isolated betting has made me."

 

[TaffyTipster]

Both Prof.

Pretty sure it's both.

 

[DublinDegen]

yeah...

the freedom comes from the isolation...

wouldn't have one without the other...

not sure that's a good trade...

 

[SharpEddie47]

So we've established that real life betting conversations are:

Performance of expertise and confidence.
Mutual cover rather than genuine support.
Future-focused to avoid seeing the pattern.
Bounded by social context that prevents honesty.
A way of maintaining relationships that couldn't survive the honest version.

And here:

Honest because anonymous.
Real because no social consequences.
Possible because nobody knows our other contexts.

The forum works because none of the things that make real life conversations safe also apply here.

 

[CoachTony_Bets]

Eddie's summary is accurate and uncomfortable.

The implication is that the honest community is possible only because it's not real in certain important ways.

If we all knew each other properly we'd probably start performing again.

 

[FadeThePublic]

Almost certainly.

The format protects the honesty.

Put us all in a pub together and within twenty minutes someone would be doing the sharp money voice and someone else would be matching it.

 

[TaffyTipster]

Hundred percent.

I'd be doing the sharp money voice and I don't even have a sharp money voice.

 

[KaliHunter]

I think anonymity plays a big role. On forums people often feel more comfortable talking about the deeper side of betting because there’s less pressure than with friends in real life.

Most real life conversations stay on surface topics like odds, tips or bad beats.

On another note, the Big Adventures tournament is wrapping up soon and they’ll draw the final winner live from the Top 100 players.

 

[Klaus]

This suggests the honest conversation about betting may only be possible in conditions that don't resemble normal social interaction.

Which raises a question.

If the honest conversation requires isolation from real consequences, how much does it actually change behavior?

We talk honestly here. We perform elsewhere.

The honest version may have no pathway into the real life version.

 

[oli_sussex]

Klaus identifying the limitation of the forum.

Honest community that cannot transmit its honesty into the contexts where it would matter most.

We talk clearly here. Go home. Have the same deflected conversation with our partners and real life friends as always.

 

[DublinDegen]

yeah...

i've said more honest things in this forum than i said to my therapist...

and the therapist was trying to help me...

something wrong with that...

 

[CoachTony_Bets]

Conor I think the therapist would say the same thing.

The anonymity here removed something the therapeutic relationship couldn't.

Not a criticism of therapy. Just a different kind of safety.

 

[ParlayPrincess_88]

I think I'm going to try to have one real conversation.

Not with a betting friend. With my best friend who doesn't bet at all.

Show her the losses number. Tell her the actual thing.

See what happens.

 

[TaffyTipster]

That takes something Princess.

Let us know.

 

[SharpEddie47]

The question seemed simple. Turned into something else.

Usually the sign of the right question.

 

[oli_sussex]

The gap between what we say here and what we say elsewhere is probably the most accurate measure of what betting has actually done to us.

Not the losses. Not the hours.

The size of that gap.