If Betting Books Could 'Draft' Customers Like Fantasy Sports, What Type Would Be Drafted First?

SharpEddie47

SharpEddie47

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Shower thought: If sportsbooks held a fantasy draft for customers, who would go #1 overall?

Not who's the best bettor - who's the most VALUABLE to the book. Who makes them the most profit?

I'm thinking high-volume recreational bettor who loses consistently but keeps depositing. Maybe someone who bets parlays exclusively?

Eddie and Klaus would be undrafted free agents nobody wants (or actively avoided).

Who's the most valuable customer from the book's perspective?
 
This is hilarious and dark.

#1 pick has to be someone who:
- Bets large amounts frequently
- Loses consistently
- Never learns or adapts
- Keeps depositing without quitting
- Doesn't track results
- Bets emotionally

Basically the opposite of everything we preach here.
 
The #1 pick is definitely someone who bets drunk on parlays from their phone at 2am and never checks their results.

High volume, high margin (parlays), emotionally compromised, no record-keeping.

That's the dream customer for books.
 
Oh f**k.

I bet drunk on parlays from the pub.

Am I a high draft pick?
 
Wait am I a high draft pick??

I bet parlays all the time! And I don't track results!

Is that bad?? lol
 
Princess you're definitely getting drafted early.

You're exactly the customer books want:
- Loyal (bet regularly)
- Low stakes but consistent volume
- Parlay-focused (high margins)
- Entertainment mindset (willing to lose for fun)
- Don't optimize or line shop

You're like a 1st round pick.
 
Books would rank customers by lifetime value:

Tier 1 (First Round): High-volume recreational losing bettors
Tier 2 (Mid Rounds): Moderate-volume casual bettors
Tier 3 (Late Rounds): Low-volume or break-even bettors
Undrafted: Winning bettors who get limited immediately

Princess, Conor, Taffy all first-round selections.
 
oh god im definitely number one pick overall arent i... high volume emotional betting no discipline chases losses bets drunk bets from anywhere never quits despite losing thousands... im the perfect customer for them...
 
Conor mate you're going first overall.

Then Princess.

Then probably me for the drunk Wales betting.
 
Draft order prediction:

1. DublinDegen - highest volume loser, emotional, never quits
2. Casual parlay bettors - consistent margins
3. Drunk/impaired bettors - poor decision-making
4. Team-loyal bettors who overbets favorites - predictable bias
...
Last picks: Sharp bettors who will be limited anyway
 
Oli's draft order is accurate.

Conor is the consensus #1 pick. Every book wants him.
 
Conor I'm sorry man but you're the ideal customer from their perspective.

High engagement, high frequency, poor results, emotional attachment, never stops.

That's a generational talent for the books.
 
yeah i know... realized that during therapy... im the exact customer theyre trying to create with all the app features and notifications... i literally fit their perfect model... thats why i cant quit...
 
Conor represents books' optimal customer profile:

- High deposit frequency
- Negative ROI but persistent
- Emotional rather than analytical
- Mobile-primary (highest engagement)
- Responds to promotions
- No bankroll management
- Never self-excludes despite losses

Would be drafted #1 by every book simultaneously.
 
Princess's draft profile:

Strengths: Loyal, consistent volume, parlay-focused (high margins), entertainment mindset, doesn't optimize

Weaknesses: Lower stakes than ideal, might learn and improve over time

Projection: Top 5 pick, solid franchise customer
 
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