Do you tell friends/family about your betting? Why or why not?

[ParlayPrincess_88]

I've been thinking about this lately because I've gotten more serious about betting and it's becoming a bigger part of my life. But I haven't told most of my friends or my family that I bet on sports regularly. My friends know I occasionally bet on games but they don't know I'm betting every week or that I have like $950 in a sportsbook account. My parents definitely don't know because I feel like they'd judge me or worry that I have a gambling problem.

Part of me feels like I'm hiding something by not telling people. Like if it's a normal hobby why do I feel the need to keep it secret? But another part of me thinks it's nobody's business what I do with my own money and there's no reason to tell people.
I'm also worried about the judgment. People hear gambling and they immediately think of addiction or losing all your money. They don't understand that you can approach it strategically and try to be profitable. I don't want to have to defend my hobby to people who don't get it.
What do you guys do? Do you openly talk about sports betting with friends and family or do you keep it private? And if you do tell people, how do they react?

 

[SharpEddie47]

This is a personal decision that depends heavily on your specific situation and relationships, but I'll share my approach and reasoning.

I'm selective about who I tell and I'm very careful about how I frame it. My wife knows I bet on sports and knows approximately how much money I have allocated to it. She's comfortable with it because I've shown her my tracking spreadsheets and she can see I'm profitable over many years. I treat it like a business and she respects that.

My close friends know I bet but they don't know the details of how much or how seriously I take it. When they ask for picks I tell them I don't give picks and I explain that everyone's betting approach should be based on their own analysis. I refuse to be responsible for other people's losses.

My extended family and casual acquaintances don't know. There's no reason to tell them and it would only invite unwanted opinions and questions. The social stigma around gambling is real and most people don't understand the difference between strategic betting and problem gambling.

Here's why I'm selective. First, most people don't understand what serious sports betting looks like. They think betting means putting money on your favorite team or making random parlays. When you try to explain that you track thousands of bets over years and use mathematical models to find edges, their eyes glaze over. It's not worth the effort to educate people who aren't interested.

Second, there's social pressure if people know you bet. They want picks, they want to talk about their own bets, they judge you when you lose and get jealous when you win. It creates complicated dynamics that I'd rather avoid.

Third, and this is important, being profitable at sports betting can create resentment among friends and family. People don't like the idea that you're making money from something they think of as luck or gambling. Even if you explain that it's skill based and you've worked hard to develop edges, some people will resent your success.

Fourth, telling people invites unwanted advice and criticism. Everyone thinks they know about sports and they'll want to debate your bets or tell you you're doing it wrong. I don't need that noise in my life.

My general rule is I only tell people who will be supportive and who understand that betting can be approached professionally. For everyone else, it's simply not their business.

Princess your instinct to keep it private from your parents is probably correct if you think they'd judge you or worry. You're an adult making your own decisions with your own money. You don't owe them an explanation of your hobbies unless you want to share that with them.

With friends, it depends on the relationship. If you have friends who also bet or who would be interested in learning, it might be worth being open with them. But if your friends would judge you or constantly ask for picks or make it weird, keep it to yourself.

The fact that you feel like you're hiding something suggests you might have some discomfort with betting that you need to resolve internally. If you're confident that betting is a legitimate hobby that you're approaching responsibly, you shouldn't feel guilty about keeping it private. Privacy is not the same as hiding something shameful.

Trust the process, not your gut.

 

[CoachTony_Bets]

I'm fairly open about betting with people close to me but I've learned to be careful about how I discuss it. My wife knows everything about my betting, how much I have in my accounts, what my results are. She's supportive because she sees I'm disciplined and profitable. Having her support has been important for maintaining healthy boundaries around betting.

My coaching colleagues at the high school know I bet on sports. Some of them are interested and we'll talk strategy occasionally. Others think it's a waste of time but they respect that it's my hobby. I've never had any professional issues from being open about it.
My parents know but they don't really understand it. They worry sometimes that I'm gambling too much but I've shown them my records over multiple years and they can see I'm responsible about it. The key was demonstrating that I have a systematic approach and proper bankroll management. Once they understood I wasn't just throwing money away randomly, they were less worried.

Where I've run into problems is with casual acquaintances who find out I bet on sports. They immediately want free picks or they want to tell me about their latest parlay or they want to debate betting strategy when they clearly don't know what they're talking about. Those conversations are exhausting and I try to avoid them now.

I also don't bring up betting in professional contexts outside of close colleagues I trust. There's still stigma around gambling in many professional environments and I don't want to create problems for myself by being too public about it.
The other issue is that being open about betting makes you a target for people who lose money and want to blame someone. I had a friend of a friend ask for my opinion on a game, I gave a careful analysis with all the caveats about risk and uncertainty, he bet it, it lost, and he blamed me. That taught me to never give picks to people I don't know well.

Princess I think Eddie's right that you need to evaluate each relationship individually. Some people in your life will be supportive and interested. Others will judge you or create problems. You don't owe everyone full disclosure about your hobbies.
The question of whether keeping it private means you have a problem is interesting. I'd say if you're hiding it because you're ashamed of how much you're betting or because you know your behavior is problematic, that's a red flag. But if you're keeping it private simply because it's nobody's business and you don't want to deal with judgment or questions, that's perfectly reasonable.

One test is whether you'd be comfortable if people found out. If someone discovered you bet on sports, would you be embarrassed or would you be able to explain it confidently as a hobby you enjoy? If you'd be embarrassed, maybe you need to examine why. If you'd be fine explaining it but you just prefer not to deal with the hassle, then privacy is a reasonable choice.

 

[FadeThePublic]

I'm pretty private about betting and I've found that's the best approach for me. My girlfriend knows I bet and knows approximately how much time I spend on it, but she doesn't know the details of my bankroll or my bets. She's fine with it as long as it's not causing financial problems, which it isn't.

My close friends know I bet but they've learned not to ask me for picks because I refuse to give them. I had too many experiences early on where I'd share a pick, they'd bet it, it would lose, and suddenly there's this weird tension in the friendship. Now I just say I don't discuss my bets and people have learned to drop it.

My parents don't know and I have no intention of telling them. They're from a generation where gambling was seen as a vice and they wouldn't understand the analytical approach I take. It would just cause unnecessary worry and I don't need that stress in my relationship with them.

The biggest problem I've encountered with being open about betting is that people make assumptions about you. They assume you're either a gambling addict or you're some kind of genius making millions. The reality that I'm a regular person who's modestly profitable over time by applying systematic contrarian strategies is boring and hard for people to understand.

I've also noticed that when people know you bet, they attribute every financial decision you make to gambling. If I buy something nice, people joke that I must have hit a big bet. If I mention I'm low on cash, people assume I lost betting. It gets old fast and it's easier to just not tell people.

The social stigma around gambling is real and it's not worth fighting against it by being super public about betting. I'd rather keep it private and avoid all the complications. The people who need to know do know, everyone else doesn't need to be involved.

Princess I think your instinct to keep it private from people who would judge you is correct. You don't owe anyone explanations about how you spend your money or your time. If you're being responsible and you're not hurting anyone, it's your business and nobody else's.

The one exception I'd make is if you were betting so much that it was affecting your finances or your relationships. In that case you'd need to be honest with people close to you because problem gambling thrives in secrecy. But if you're betting $20 per game as a hobby, there's no reason you need to broadcast that to your family.

 

[ParlayPrincess_88]

Thanks for the perspectives everyone. It makes me feel better that you all are pretty selective about who you tell and that it's normal to keep it private from most people.
I think the reason I was feeling guilty about not telling people is because I've been spending a lot of time on betting lately, learning about it and thinking about strategy. It feels like a bigger part of my life than I'm admitting to people. But based on what you guys are saying, that doesn't mean I need to tell everyone about it.

Eddie's point about privacy not being the same as hiding something shameful really resonated. I'm not doing anything wrong by betting on sports responsibly, so there's no reason I should feel guilty about keeping it private. It's just a personal choice about what I share with people.
I do think I need to tell my close friends though, just because they're my friends and I want to be honest with them about what I'm interested in. But I'll probably keep it vague and not give them specific details about how much I'm betting or asking them for betting advice or anything like that.

My parents definitely don't need to know. They wouldn't understand and they'd just worry, and there's no benefit to telling them. Maybe someday if I'm consistently profitable over years I could show them I'm treating it seriously, but for now it's better to just keep it to myself.
The point about people asking for picks is interesting. I haven't had that problem yet because people don't know I bet seriously, but I can see how that would get annoying. I'll remember to not offer picks if people do find out and start asking.

 

[SharpEddie47]

Princess you've arrived at a reasonable approach. Being selective about who you tell and keeping it vague with most people is smart. You're right that your parents don't need to know if it would just cause them worry.

One more thing I want to emphasize about giving picks to friends. Don't do it under any circumstances. Even if they beg. Even if you think they'd be responsible with the information. Even if you caveat it heavily with warnings about risk.

When you give someone a pick, you're taking responsibility for their financial outcome. If it wins, they'll expect more picks and they'll think you're a genius. If it loses, which it will about 50% of the time even with good picks, they'll blame you at some level even if they say they don't.

I've seen friendships damaged over picks. I've seen people get angry at friends who gave them losing picks. I've seen people become dependent on picks and lose their own analytical skills. It's never worth it.

If friends want to learn about betting, point them to resources where they can educate themselves. If they want picks, tell them to do their own analysis. Don't let your hobby become a service you're providing to others. That's a path to stress and damaged relationships.

The other reason not to give picks is that it's impossible to explain your reasoning in a way that makes sense to someone who doesn't understand betting deeply. You might have a nuanced view based on closing line value, public fade opportunities, and situational factors. Your friend hears Chiefs minus 3 is a good bet and bets it without understanding any of the context. When it loses they're confused because you said it was good.

Keep your betting private or semi-private, don't give picks, and don't let other people's opinions about gambling affect how you feel about your hobby as long as you're being responsible. That's the healthy approach.

 

[CoachTony_Bets]

I want to add one more dimension to this discussion. If you're going to be open about betting with anyone, make sure it's someone who can help hold you accountable if your betting becomes problematic.
Part of why I'm open with my wife is because I want her to notice if my behavior changes in unhealthy ways. If I started betting more than my bankroll allows, or if I started chasing losses, or if I showed signs of problem gambling, I want her to call me out on it.
Having someone in your life who knows about your betting and can provide that accountability is valuable. It prevents betting from happening in a vacuum where unhealthy patterns can develop without anyone noticing.

Princess since you're relatively new to betting, having at least one person in your life who knows about it and can check in with you occasionally might be a good safeguard. It doesn't have to be your parents, but maybe a close friend who you trust to be honest with you if they think you're betting too much or making bad decisions.
The danger of complete secrecy is that it can enable problem gambling. If nobody knows you're betting, nobody can help you if it becomes unhealthy. So while I agree with Eddie and Fade that you should be selective about who you tell, I'd encourage you to have at least one person who knows and who you trust to be honest with you.

 

[FadeThePublic]

Tony makes an excellent point about accountability. That's one reason I'm open with my girlfriend even though I'm private with most other people. She knows enough to notice if my betting behavior changed in concerning ways.
I'll also add that being part of this forum provides a different kind of accountability. When I post about my betting here I'm forced to be honest about my results and my approach. The community can call me out if I'm making bad decisions or showing signs of tilt. That's valuable even though it's anonymous.

Princess you're smart to be thinking about these questions now rather than after you've been betting for years and developed patterns that are hard to change. Being intentional about who you tell and why is much better than just letting people find out randomly and dealing with the consequences.
The main takeaway from this thread is that there's no right answer for everyone. It depends on your relationships, your comfort level, and your specific situation. But being thoughtful about it rather than just defaulting to either complete secrecy or complete openness is the right approach.