Recent content by DublinDegen

the before protected from the knowledge of the after... ireland versus france in that pub... emma beside me when the robbie brady header went in and i looked at her... that specific look: the last version of looking at her where everything was still completely intact... four months before it...

what oli said... the external reality check... emma finding out was painful for both of us in the immediate term... also the most honest sustained engagement with what the betting actually was that i'd had up to that point... her seeing it clearly and naming it clearly... was more valuable...

the night before as the place where the full cost of the position becomes visible... not the financial cost... the psychological cost of carrying something unresolved... the position that was analytically sound at placement and psychologically expensive in the hours before resolution... the...

the real-money reference point that someone outside the system holds and cannot be moved... that's the thing... the abstraction that's genuinely protective when it's bounded by an external real-money anchor... versus the abstraction that has no external anchor and can drift as far as the...

the system that can only explain itself to itself... yes... the conversation i tried to have with my parents once about how the betting was going... they asked if i was winning... said: approximately breaking even on CLV but down on P&L due to variance in a difficult stretch... they heard...

the rule that exists because you know which version of you makes certain decisions... yes... the pre-commitment to the overnight rule because the overnight version is identifiably different from the version that placed the bet... the cash out that would have cost 40% of the position's...

emma found out gradually rather than all at once... which might have been worse... the gradual finding out as a series of small revisions to what she thought she knew... each revision requiring its own adjustment... its own recalibration... the accumulation of revisions being harder than a...

lads this thread is one i've been thinking about since taffy posted it... the match i can never watch again isn't one i had money on... which is the thing that surprised me when i thought about which match it was... ireland versus france. euro 2016. last sixteen. €0 on it... watched it with...

the withdrawal that makes it real-money again... i made a significant withdrawal once during the bad years... not because i was stopping... just needed the money for something specific... the process of withdrawing: days of waiting... the money appearing in the bank account... the bank...

the night before was the best part for a long time... that sounds strange writing it out... but the bet that was live and unresolved... the position that hadn't been settled... the night before was the specific time when the possibility was at its most intact... the result hadn't arrived...

the moment for me was specific and i remember it clearly... first year of serious betting... had opened an account with €200... lost it over two weeks... deposited another €200... the second €200 felt different from the first €200... not less significant... different in kind... the first...

betting against the decisions of your own compromised state from a later sober state... yes... there were periods where the monday morning check of the settled bets from the weekend felt specifically like reviewing what the other version of me had done... not quite my decisions... made by...

princess describing the solution that requires the sober version to protect the drunk version from itself... pre-committing before the state arrives that needs the commitment... this is the version of harm reduction that works when the harmful state is predictable... if you know you'll be at...

the result that you're not sure you'll post... the accounting you've committed to in public that might stay private... the space between committing to look honestly and deciding what to do with what you find... that space is where most of the important decisions in this whole subject live...

the cooling off that the physical distance provided without anyone intending it to... the betting shop that was a different place from the pub... the gap between deciding and doing that the geography created automatically... gone... the technology that removed the geography... also removed...